Motherhood for Dummies: It feels more like the Tuesdays where you’re stuck in traffic and you know you still have two more days of s*** to bear with till it’s Thursday. But the one difference is, moms, don’t get to reach the weekends.
Each day/month/phase, there’s something with your baby that turns your life upside down, mixes up your routine or just makes your messy days messier. They give each phase a cool name – growth spurts, separation anxiety, first 40 days, terrible twos – to make it sound different when they’re just like weekdays!
I read a lot about each topic and each phase, but I decided to be different and swore to myself that it won’t be that terrible to have a two-year-old, as I handled the previous phases as much as I could. I avoided many tantrums with positive discipline, patience, talks, and by allowing my daughter to explore and express. However, what most articles never tackled is that it’s not only the child that experiences terrible twos, we get it too!
Imagine being stuck for two years in traffic, and whenever you get the opportunity to park, something happens and you don’t know what to do. That’s how it felt like until I reached the phase of Motherhood’s Terrible Twos.
Motherhood’s Terrible Twos:
It all started when my baby turned two. She learned to walk, to speak some baby language and became more understanding, oh and a little more demanding. Add this to two years of constant stress from every cold she caught, every fall she had, every tantrum I survived, and worries I had about what the future might hide. My patience started decreasing gradually, and this was when I knew that a motherhood version of the tantrum was about to hit me.
I can remember how it started
How I shouted
How I was aggressively talking with her
I can remember my tone of voice
And every tear
For the first time, I saw it
It was something I wish I had never seen
The look in her eyes
It was out of fear
Usually, people regret their actions after they do it but this time
I was regretting even before I opened my mouth
I was mad, frustrated and angry
And it doesn’t end
How to finish this?
How to be patient again?
Is it her? Or is it me?
She is still the same kid
With the same stubbornness since she was born
Yes she grew up a little
She gained a few grams
She is much taller
Yet she became more understanding
But I am the one who changed
All the patience I had for 2 years
It is just disappearing
This would usually happen now and then
I thought okay I had a rough day and it is not the end
It is changing into a daily habit! And yes it is a scary habit that once you do it
You can’t control it
But is that what you really want to do?
To talk to a 2-year-old as if she is a mature adult?
How to Survive ‘Motherhood’s Terrible Twos”:
- 5 minutes into your day after putting your kids to sleep:
forget about the dishes, laundry and all the stuff you have to do and give yourself some time to unplug from everything (including your phone) and do some yoga, have a warm bubble bath, look for things that make you less stressed and do them.
- Write down how you want to raise your kids, what would make your life easier, and start planning.
- If it’s possible, seek help from others till you get your head back in place.
- When you feel you are about to lose your temper/patience tell your kid that you need to go to another room to calm down (say it in a calm/loving way) and that you will continue talking after.
- Read about the terrible twos to understand their feelings during this phase and why they are so emotional.
Some mothers tend to blame the kid whenever they lose their patience, and that’s what I tried to do once I started my own terrible twos. I looked at how to change her behavior instead of refilling my patience tank. Once I looked in the right direction, her behavior automatically changed! – Nope, toddler tantrums will never disappear, however, they can be minimized – and this was more than enough for me.
What do you think?
Do you have a different opinion? Have any more advice you’d like to add? Tell us a story about how you survived your own Terrible Twos.