“Keep Walking”

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Written by Dania Akkawi

Photo by Bernd Obervossbeck

 

“Keep Walking”

So disheartened, I am distracted.

from what I want; who I am.

I pull away,

making myself busy with plans and papers.

 

I organize and reorganize.

I plan and re-plan.

Nothing seems to get done.

 

The law of attraction explained;

you attract what you think

and receive what you believe.

But here I am,

drowning in positivity

and floating in a vision;

a vision I did not have in store.

 

I ask the shattered glass

“Is this all I can be?”

In my own hesitation,

I found the answer hidden

underneath piles of uncertainty.

I gave myself permission to fall.

I gave myself the right to close the door.

 

And here I stand,

beyond me two roads.

 

I turn around for one last look.

My gaze meets yours.

So, I plead and cry for what was lost.

I scream for the wasted time.

For one moment, I want to run back

to a place that I once knew.

 

I utter no sound.

I make no movement.

You disappear in the darkness

as I stand in the light.

 

And here I stand about to walk forward.

My mind wanders to the unknown

and all I have ever known.

 

The past is in the past now.

I take one step forward

but it starts to rain,

candles are blown out

and the wind sways in unexpected directions

howling sounds I did not foresee.

 

I promise myself that I won’t look back.

I promise myself that I can keep walking.

 

As time goes on,

the candles are in my hand;

I pave my own roads.

As time goes on,

the winds are under my power;

I control my own temper.

 

I tell myself the story of what it took to get here.

I hear the ruffling papers,

the click sounds of a pen,

the rain tapping on the windowsill,

the clock ticking on the wall.

 

For the first time,

I laugh.

 

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