Amuse Bulletin: Six Flags Rabaa

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Written by Mahmoud Bondok

Ahhh, Egypt. The land of peace and security. The land of history and science. The land of justice and equality. LOL JK, sorry I was thinking of anywhere else.

Once more, I find myself in the awkward position of trying to see some light at the end of the tunnel and liven up the news, which is getting harder and harder with every passing day owing to the grave situation in Egypt. There is such a thing as too much action, where the people get desensitized to the events and start feeling like it’s the norm. The news in Egypt can just about be summed up in “The Rabaa sit-in”.

Much of the country’s entertainment originates there nowadays. We get a constant stream of pictures from Rabaa, where the protesters are apparently celebrating God knows what. Just this morning, in fact, I found a picture on my Facebook news feed claiming that the protesters built a catapult. It’s very hard to verify such claims of course and we make no such claims at CairoContra (Morsi is secretly a woman).

Be that as it may, there are some claims that can’t help but spread, like the fact that there is apparently a water park in Rabaa.  Don’t believe me? I hardly believe me so I don’t blame you, but check out the photo below:

photo
photo

It’s worthy of mention that only young boys are allowed in the “water park” (i.e.: girls are not allowed). Being an honorable knight, I will refrain from commenting since this is the equivalent of catching your mortal enemy in their soiled underwear; it is too easy.

On a more serious note, it has almost been a week since the latest ultimatum was issued by the official sponsors of drama in Egypt; the army generals. It was announced by General El-Sisi that he had given the green light to the Ministry of Interior to disperse the protesters at Rabaa. It has been established that the Egyptian Army – as armies are- is always late and not at all punctual (wait, isn’t that the one thing armies are supposed to be good at, besides killing people?). As such, it is hardly surprising that the actual dispersing has not started yet, but it would make a nice change for the government or the army to stick to their own plans.

At the risk of sounding dire, the situation at Rabaa is rather serious. Most political analysts seem convinced that Egypt might possibly face a situation similar to that of Algeria in 1990’s, when the army waged war against the democratically elected Islamists, killing between 100,000 and 200,000 and starting a long string of terrorist attacks on Algerian soil. If the situation here is not handled with more care and less brute force, the country could be plunged into instability the likes of which we haven’t seen since Menes (Mina) unified prehistoric Egypt.

However, every country has its own specific case and it would be ignorant to study the issue generically. Personally, I always had faith in Egypt and its people, and I believe this issue will eventually be resolved. So while we should always remain alert to the evident polarization in Egyptian society and the widening gap between Islamists and… well, everyone; we can still afford the luxury of having a hearty laugh at the Rabaa Park.

Stay cheerful, Egypt. It’s the one thing we’re good at…

DISCLAIMER: Cairocontra’s not responsible for any news we publish because we are not a credible source. Use of our articles in scholarly journals or school assignments are highly discouraged. Mahmoud Bondok is AWESOME. We like pie.

 

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You can also be very cheerful in the comment section, if you’d like (my pool of inspiration needs some serious work)! We welcome all constructive criticism. Until next week, people!

 

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